When the world comes crashing down

Panic Meter

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Frequently Asked Questions

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What is panic sex?

Panic sex, or panic-induced intercourse, is meant to be the last sexual experience of your existence.

When should panic sex be initiated?

Panic sex should only be initiated when there is no further point to trying to survive, typically due to an impeding calamity or disaster.

What is the point of panic sex?

These are potentially your last moments on earth; how else did you plan on spending them?

What are the some common aspects of panic sex?

Panic sex is typically short lived and physically aggressive. Hair-pulling, biting and brusing are all too ever common during panic sex.

What is the difference between panic sex and traditional sex?

Traditionally, panic happens AFTER sex. Panic sex allows the panic to take place DURING sex.

How do I pick a panic sex partner?

Since time is of the essence, be realistic in alloting only as much time as necessary for picking your partner. You could miss your opportunity!

Can my panic sex partner be pre-arranged?

If you typically spend most of your life in one centralized location, your sex partner could be pre-arranged, time allowing.

Will I have enough time for panic sex?

Some people find themselves in a situation that calls for an immediate fight or flight. In these certain instances, panic sex may not be an option.

How much time should be dedicated to panic sex?

You should take as much time as you need to finish the deed.

Events that commonly trigger panic sex include:

Comets, tidal waves, a pole-shift, wars, sirens, oil spills, martial law, plagues, riots, evacuations, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods

What are common events misconstrued as being a call for panic sex?

Losing your job, losing a loved one, and news of "Planet X" are not events to panic over. Although it may seem like the end of the world, your physical existence is most likely not in jeopardy.

Can panic sex be pleasurable?

It most certainly should be your last, most pleasurable experience.

What are the pros and cons of having panic sex?

PROS: No need for condoms or fear of commitment!
CONS: Your judgement may have been clouded of this actually being the time for panic sex.

How can I plan for my panic sex experience?

Since it is spotaneous, panic sex cannot be well planned. The time, place and partner would typically be at random.

Can practicing panic sex help?

Although you can pretend that any intimate moment is a genuine panic sex encounter, practice cannot truely prepare you.

What if I finished panic sex and I'm still alive?

If there's still time left for another round of panic sex, you should either use it or lose it.

How many people can partake in panic sex?

Although the most common number of people is two, panic sex sandwiches and orgies are also common, as there is no limit to the number of people who can participate.

Is panic sex just some rediculous made-up idea from people who don't get any?

Panic sex has been scientifically proven to be a common reaction to fear-induced events. (no citing)

Are there people who just can't break themselves to have panic sex?

Some people have reportedly been only able to shoot guns during a real panic sex trigger event.

What if it's too cold to have panic sex?

Yes, some people have complained about this. Temperature should never be an excuse to not have panic sex.

Is there an early-warning system set up for the need for panic sex?

The Panic Sex Advisory System (in the works) is a world-wide real-time monitoring system of events that warrant potential panic sex.